Life is full of highs and lows, ups and downs, peaks and valleys
Everyone feels dissatisfied from time to time. Some of us are able to go with the flow with an attitude of, “tomorrow will be a better day.” Others feel panicked when things don’t go as planned and a compulsion rises up to take control and make things right.
Often, people who are never satisfied are the hardest working people on the planet.They drive themselves not only to improve, but to master whatever they lay their hands to.
Society often applauds and rewards the person who is never satisfied with promotions and public accolades.
It all sounds well and good, But there is a downside.
Never satisfied means just that: never satisfied
On the outside, there is accomplishment and productivity, while on the inside insecurity and fear is the condition of the heart.
Do these questions sound familiar to you?
- How can I make it better, bigger, faster?
- What will it take to get more exposure, money, investors, approval, acceptance?
- What if I can’t keep up as I grow older?
- Will anyone want me around if I fail?
- What if someone better comes along and takes my place?
- Why is everyone else’s life so much better than mine?
- When is enough – enough?
If you find yourself in a vicious cycle of working hard only to be dissatisfied and unfulfilled, then you are likely struggling with a mindset called performance orientation.
This mindset carries the belief, whether consciously or subconsciously, that a healthy self-esteem comes from accomplishment and that love is a commodity paid for through blood, sweat and tears.
This problem does not only exist in the corporate world. A stay-at-home mom can be driven by a performance oriented mindset as well:
- The house is never clean enough.
- The décor is never up-to-date enough.
- The kids are never well-behaved enough.
- She is never slim enough, in style enough or smart enough.
- She doesn’t have enough friends.
- Her husband doesn’t love her enough.
Never enough = Never satisfied = Never happy
If performance orientation is your struggle, it is probably a private little secret. Your family may feel you are cranky and tired all the time, but those outside your home likely find you to be quite polished and confident.
Would you like to discover how you came to be so driven? Would you like to feel as satisfied on the inside as you appear to feel on the outside? Would you like to enjoy your life and your relationships more?
You do not need to carry this heavy burden.
Mark and Tammy