What it Means to Break Ungodly Soul Ties

Relationships fill our lives and in many ways help define who we are. It is through relationships that we are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives and fathers and mothers.

We enter into some relationships without a choice: we do not choose our parents and our parents determine who our ancestors and siblings are. We enter into other relationships of our own volition: we choose who to marry, who to be friends with, where to live and where to work.

Whether by destiny or by choice, our relationships affect how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about the world around us. Some relationships are healthy and inspire us to be the best we can be; other relationships are unhealthy and make us feel trapped and unable to grow. Still other relationships are a combination of the two, parts of it good and productive and other parts harmful and guarded.

Letting Go of Unhealthy Attachments

While it’s not easy, there are times when it is clear that you need to let go. We attach to people for a reason. On one level or another we have had our desires fulfilled and needs met through the relationships we have, even if it is on an inconsistent and unpredictable basis.

Letting go is a risk and it triggers fear that nothing and no one can possibly replace that which we are giving up by breaking ungodly soul ties. And yet, if we don’t let go of unhealthy relationships, there is no room for something better.

Here are examples of when it is imperative for you to break ungodly soul ties:

  • If domination and intimidation cause you to fear for your safety, you must break ties with your abuser.
  • If you are married, you must break ties with anyone who you’ve had sexual contact with in your past.
  • If you are struggling with addiction, you must break ties with anyone who tempts you to stay in your unhealthy lifestyle.

If you are under no obligation to stay in the relationship, you can break the tie completely and never see the person again. Even if you must stay in relationship on some level, such as with an ex who you share custody of the children with or your own parents, there is a way to experience freedom from the control that the person has over you.

Letting Go of Ungodly Soul Ties is Making Room

Here are some questions to ask yourself about the friendships, past and present, that you are struggling with:

  • Do I feel confined and restricted in this relationship?
  • Am I sticking it out only because I’m afraid of being alone?
  • Are my thoughts about the situation obsessive and out of control?
  • Am I unable to sleep, plagued with nightmares or unable to eat because of this relationship?

If you answered these questions with a “yes,” then your friendship is keeping you from being the person you were created to be. You need to let go so there will be room for betterhealthier relationships.

This is especially important when it comes to ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. Your current relationship will suffer if you carry those relationships in your heart and invest emotional energy into them. This is also true if you are married. We are tempted to think that if we don’t talk about our past and no one knows about our private thoughts that no one will be hurt. But your attachment to the past is robbing you of fulfillment in what you have now.

Here’s a practical first step to letting go: unfriend them on Facebook. We have found that being “friends” with past romantic interests on Facebook causes great damage to current relationships. It is far too easy to keep in touch at a distance and to fanaticize about what could have been. Simply put: it’s time to let go.

Letting Go While Staying In

There are relationships in our lives that we should not walk away from, even if that relationship is making us feel unhappy and unfulfilled. There is a deeper level of commitment to some of the people in our lives than to others. We do not walk out on our marriages, abandon our children or disown our parents. These are relationships that we are bound to under God.

So here’s the good news. It is possible to separate yourself from the unhealthy aspects of your relationship while investing in the healthy aspects of your relationship. It’s about setting healthy boundaries and finding the strength to stick to them.

It’s easier said than done — but absolutely possible.

The Three Parts of You

It is helpful to understand that there are three distinct parts to you, and every person you are in relationship with. God made us that way. We often expect others to fill a part of us that only God can fill. We sometimes believe things that are untrue and these wrong beliefs distort how we see ourselves and others.

Our beliefs also influence how we treat our physical bodies: what we allow into our bodies and how we allow others to treat our bodies.

  1. The Human Spirit: This is where we relate to God. Its function is to receive new birth, to communicate with God and bring His life to our body and soul.
  2. The Human Soul
    • The Will – God has created us with free will and given us the ability to choose. When our will is damaged we can become either too passive or overly stubborn.
    • The Mind – Our mind receives ideas from all it takes in throughout the course of our life. The Lord desires to make us creative and fruitful in our thinking.
    • The Emotions – We have been created with God-given emotions. They are intended by God to cooperate with making our joy full or complete. Unhealthy and irrational emotions obstruct intimacy and are the cause of most relationship breakdowns.
  3. The Human Body: To a large extent the body has been created with the ability to heal itself. Healing may be impeded if the body is reacting to some unhealed inner wounding to our human spirit or soul.

Healing and wholeness in your spirit, soul and body will lead to healthy relationships and fulfillment in life.

It all sounds so clear and simple: hang on to what’s good and let go of what’s bad. But relationships are much more complicated and our hearts are not always strong enough to hang on or courageous enough to let go.

That’s why we need help. We cannot rely on our strength alone. There is one who can help you break the attachments that are holding you back. God can help you break ungodly ties and be set free to become the person you were created to be. Are you intrigued? Do you want to know how this can happen?

Read on to find out more.

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Ungodly Soul Ties - Breaking Unhealthy Attachments