Am I a Hypocrite?
To answer this question, you must first be honest with yourself.
So you want to forgive someone – but you honestly don’t FEEL forgiving.
Good start — it’s important to be honest with yourself!
But here’s the deal—you can honestly admit that you don’t feel forgiving and still make the conscious decision to forgive.
In other words—you are not a hypocrite by forgiving someone even if you’re still feeling angry and/or hurt.
Here’s the key…
It is not hypocritical to go against what you feel—it is hypocritical to go against what you believe.
Let me explain what I mean by telling you a story that you may be able to relate to…
You tossed and turned through most of the night last night and now the alarm blares to awaken you. It is 6:00 a.m. on Monday and it’s pouring down rain outside. Do you feel like getting out of bed to go to work? No, probably not. But you force yourself out of bed and into the shower because you believe it is important to keep your commitments and to provide for your family.
You are not a hypocrite by going to work, you are simply going against what you feel (tired and lazy). You are choosing to do what you believe is right.
However, if you believe that it is wrong to cheat on the books even though your boss expects it, and you do it anyway, you are being hypocritical. You are going against what you believe. You are choosing to do something that you believe is wrong.
When you forgive you are not being hypocritical
So you see—when you forgive someone, even though you don’t feel like it, you are not a hypocrite. You are doing what you believe is right, even though you still feel angry, hurt or disappointed.
Now I bet you’re wondering what forgiveness is like if it’s not all touchy-feely?
Is it like: “I’ll always love you, I will never doubt you again, I will trust you forever with every hope and dream I have.”
Here’s what forgiveness is like: “I choose to believe that you didn’t intend to hurt me the way you did and that you will make every effort not to hurt me like that again. I will not hold this against you or make you pay for what you’ve done to me but I will be more cautious until I know I can trust you.”
Forgiveness is given— trust is earned.
So—you can wipe the slate clean and start from scratch, but you use wisdom and caution in how you approach things in the future.
Don’t stop with this letter, dive deeper into what forgiveness really means here.DIVE DEEPER